Tag: change

stonehenge

Once you have an understanding of your own mortality, you either try to ignore it or you think about ways to avoid it. Ignoring it is easy for most people; the drone of American Idol or the smell of another Big Mac are probably all defense mechanisms against awareness of the end. Avoiding it is tougher, although the most popular solution (reproduction) is easy for most people. Feeling that part of you will live on in your descendants is a good defense against that self-knowledge. I found it was an oddly comforting thing which I didn’t expect when having children. That feeling intensified as I started passing down stories about my deceased relatives to my kids; you’re almost performing some sort of Matrix-like implantation of memories into the next generation. The memories will fade away generation by generation, but the increasing ease of creating near-permanent media (pictures, videos and so on) provide the cues to spark those memories.

Setting the question of whether children satisfy the desire for pseudo-immortality, you have to turn and look at Stonehenge. Some people got together a long time ago and said “let’s build something.” We don’t know exactly why, although it was probably some sort of place of worship or sacrifice or celebration. But we do know someone built it, and in a way the builders put some small part of themselves into that structure which is still sitting there.

Not everyone will build Stonehenge or paint the Mona Lisa. Not everyone will even go to the effort to trace their family tree more than 100 years into the past. Many people won’t care, and retreat to ignorance. Many people will care, and cling to their children as proof ‘they’ will live on forever. Many people will turn to religion and the promise of an afterlife, but even if true it will still be a different life from the life they know. The happiest people, I think, will build.

Most of us are terrible at building our Stonehenge. I have not created anything of much permanence yet in this life. I have not built anything, or written anything of any significance, or started anything I expect to last much past my time here. I suppose I could prepay hosting fees to Godaddy.com for the next 100 years and hope they stay in business and bripblap.com would be here for a while. But I haven’t started a company, or written music or a novel.

And this is why I try to remind myself to focus on creativity. It’s easy to get up, go to work, eat a sandwich, come home, watch TV and go to sleep. I’ve been doing more of that than I should, recently. Doing nothing is a comforting white noise masking the lack of creation in day-to-day life. Small changes can make a difference. Even planting a few seeds will make you feel better than your favorite TV show. Stonehenge wasn’t built in day; the builders must have missed entire seasons of “Druid Idol.” But we know they were here. How will people know you were here?

photo by SKI tripper

leaving the northeast, a retrospective

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I was browsing through my archives (I’ve forgotten quite a few of my posts) and I came across Why I Will Not Live in the Northeast Forever. I wrote it almost a year before we decided to move to Florida. Some thoughts…

A constant topic of conversation I have with my wife Bubelah is where we want - or should - live. We live in a suburb of New York City (the only major city growing in the northeast). Our cost of living is horrific. We have a three-bedroom townhouse that cost just shy of half a million dollars in 2004, pre-boom. Our house would go for almost $600,000 today.

Ah, 2007, when we still held the laughable idea that we’d get anywhere close to a 20% gain on the sale of our house (we ended up getting 7% before closing costs - net 0%). Since we’ve moved I’d say that we’ve experienced a mixed bag in the cost of living, although part of it is that we’re still getting accustomed to life outside New York and we’ve made some mistakes (shopping at the most expensive supermarket, for example). Some notable differences:

- Food. Food was pricey in New Jersey, and it’s pricey in Florida. If anything we spend just as much on food, although part of that arises from the fact that we aren’t careful about creating shopping lists and we’re picky about organic foods. Some of that will change.

- Transportation. Gas was an afterthought in Jersey; it was cheap and we seldom drove long distances. Here we drive much more. My 2-mile commute to the train station in Jersey has been replaced by a 22 mile drive. However, my daily light rail/subway or ferry costs (often as much as $15 per day), parking costs of $4 per day and miscellaneous tolls/fees (all over the map) are gone. Parking is free and gas (and wear and tear) on my old Pontiac are the only expenses. So far, better.

- Education. Little Buddy’s half-day preschool was $800 in Jersey. Public schools were horrific, and we faced the possibility of two children attending 12-13 years of expensive private (and religious) schools. Now, we have found a wonderful part-time Waldorf preschool for less than half of that. We live in one of the best public school districts in Florida. Huge savings.

- Taxes. New Jersey’s tax burden was horrendous. State income tax rates floating around 4% (for me), property taxes that were increasing to $1200 per month, not to mention the fact that I paid taxes in New York State (and City) as well, since I worked there. In Florida? Property taxes are still high compared to many non-coastal states, but far less than Jersey. No state income tax, and I live and work in the same state.

- Housing. We have exchanged our small townhouse with no yard for a bigger house (not much bigger, though, just better use of space) with a large fenced-in yard for 10% less. Association fees are about 1/4th what they were in Jersey. Having a yard does mean some additional expenses that we didn’t have before; termite protection, sprinklers, etc. Other than that, though, I think we’re better off.

And as I mentioned in the old article, we left a place bereft of public services (libraries were awful, ill-maintained parks and horrible roads) and moved to a green place, with wonderful libraries and a beautiful, well-maintained public beach within walking distance of the house.

I don’t think it’s perfect now that we’ve moved - far from it. Establishing yourself in a new city is tough, socially and professionally. The distances from our families are much greater now, and we did leave behind things we loved (Manhattan, although we seldom visited). Florida has its own long term challenges; while not as serious as the meltdown in New Jersey yet, the future continues to be uncertain until the economy rebounds. Florida fell further than almost any other state when the crash came, other than perhaps Arizona and California.

Yet our goal was simple: to get ourselves out of a place and lifestyle where we simply couldn’t see any hope. The education problems, long commutes and steadily mounting cost of living in the northeast made it increasingly difficult for us to visualize an “end game” for our financial freedom. Now, with lower costs of living we have more options and see at least a glimmer at the end of the tunnel.

photo by Old Sarge

guest post: age is a state of mind

Today’s post is another contribution from brip blap’s most frequent guest writer, Curmudgeon. I like the list he incorporates in this article, and I’m doing alright on 3 of the 4…:

Young & Old, Let's Get it On!
I am fifty years old. More or less (and it is not less). I’m gainfully employed at a full-time job (the last time I changed jobs was just under a year ago), in what might be considered a middle management position, with a salary hovering around six figures. I also have my own business that brings in perhaps half again that amount of income. I live in a moderate-cost area of the United States, and this income is much more than sufficient to take care of my needs and wants. I work largely at home, but have to be somewhat visible to both my employer and my clients, so I get into a car once or twice a week, and an airplane perhaps once a month. More often, I get on webcasts.

Most of the industries I’ve worked in have been volatile. The one I am currently in is most definitely in decline; employment in the industry as a whole has probably shrunk by about a third over the last decade or so. I have certain skills that make me more valuable in this industry, but they also require that industry to pay me more than the average bear. My current employer laid off over ten percent of the company at the end of last year, but my job is secure for at least the foreseeable future.

In a recent post, Steve wonders if his resume is being rejected for new employment because he has, well, too much experience. That has prompted me to answer his muse in some fashion. Have I at all suffered from age discrimination? I have no idea. My standard resume lists jobs going back to circa 1980 or so; the hair that I have left is approximately fifty percent gray, with no artificial coloring. I am certainly a candidate for such a response.

Interestingly enough, though, most people guess my age at almost a decade less than my true chronological age. Perhaps some of that is due to genes (I can guarantee that none of it is due to Botox), but I would like to posit that most of it is due to a high energy level, willingness to question my own beliefs and experiences, and perhaps most important, willingness to learn radically new things. I Twitter (though not under the Curmudgeon sobriquet), have several hundred LinkedIn partners, and IM with dozens of people that I have never met over the course of a week.

My boss is fifteen years younger than me. Does that make me inferior to him? Of course not; it merely means that we have different career paths. I respect him for his position, and he has come to depend on me for my knowledge and experience.

What is the lesson for those of you here who are aging, gracefully or not? Try these:

  1. Keep an open mind. If you don’t honestly consider new ideas and incorporate the good ones into your point of view, you are old whether you are 20 or 70.
  2. Learn something new every day. Don’t skip a day, no matter how miserable you feel.
  3. Exercise regularly and vigorously. It’s not that hard if you set up a routine, and the more vigor that you show in your exercise, the more you show in your job.
  4. Treat everyone as an equal, and with respect. The executives will think you’re one of them, and the twenty-somethings will die for you because no one has ever listened to them before.

You can’t stop the forces of Time. But you can behave in a way that does you credit, no matter what your age. Give it a try.

photo credit: AlphaTangoBravo / Adam Baker

linklings, too old for the factory edition


Another week goes by and another spate of bad job news. I’m beginning to suspect that I may be in the “old enough to be difficult to hire” category - many of the manager positions I’ve looked at quickly turn me down. I doubt it can be my qualifications or me personally - since many of my applications don’t even make it to the phone interview stage - but perhaps they think “senior manager guy’s gonna want big money.” Or maybe my last five years consulting on Wall Street don’t look as nifty as they did a year ago - hah. I’m casting about for direction, and still hoping that one of the consulting contracts I’ve got very strong leads on will work out, so I can avoid reentering job world. I don’t feel that I want to do it, and of course that mindset doesn’t help, either.

When you are moving, life drifts into a bit of stasis. A lot of ideas about starting this or doing that get paused and filed away with “I’ll get that done after we move.” I’ve been meaning to start an LLC - but now I think I’ll wait until I’m closer to moving to Florida. I’m going to pursue some sort of certificate education (teaching? financial planning?) at one of the local colleges… down there. I’m going to start a small business, hopefully, doing some kid’s party entertainment - but now I’m just researching and won’t get started.

Of course this is just procrastination. I could start all of these things today if I felt pressure to do so. But with so many things to organize for the move these ideas seem destined for the shelf for the time being. I doubt it’s a characteristic of a successful person, but then again maybe I’m just being organized and prudent. Time will tell.

Some links for weekend reading:

My Tenant: “I’ve Lost My Job and I Can’t Pay You…”: Words that would give any landlord a sinking feeling.

Can One Choose Not To Participate In A Recession?: This is an interesting idea from the always-interesting (if not, in my opinion, always correct) Dave Ramsey.

Your Home Office: Ideas To Set Up Your Place of Work: Oh, to have a home office. I know, I am wishing for more space and a bigger home, and I know that’s verboten in the personal finance blogosphere. I sincerely hope that sometime in the future I’ll have a place with a room that can be devoted solely to work (and by work I mean blogging, writing and consulting). With a door. The door is key. Having a computer in a corner of the open-floor-plan living area is in no way conducive to getting work done during the day or putting yourself in a work mindset. My office, however, would not need to look like Gore’s. Yikes.

How Long Does It Take Your Broker to Answer Your Call?: I only have experience with three brokerage firms in the last 5-6 years. TD Ameritrade (where I keep my retirement and brokerage accounts) is terrific. They answer the phone almost immediately, and I have yet to have any trouble with my account (I say that while furiously knocking on wood).

Did You Miss the Stock Market Rally?: I don’t think March was a real rally, to be honest. I think we’ll see another dip, and I need to see one more strong runup before I’ll believe the market troubles are over. And I have to vent on a pet peeve: the market and the economy are NOT the same thing. The economy’s going to be in the dumper for a while. The market may come back long before the economy does - and by the economy I mean jobs, productivity, real estate and so on.

The 80/20 Rule and How it Applies to You: The Pareto Principle is a great way of looking at almost everything in life - if you don’t know what it is (but if you read this blog, I am sure you do), check it out.

Taking Control of Your Life By Finding Balance: I probably worry far more about balance than I should.

Poll: Generation X Feels Unprepared for Long-Term Care Costs. Are You Prepared?: I’m not. I’m one of those people who’s buried his head in the sand a bit on long-term care.

How to Save on Digital Services: We drop a LOT on digital services, although much less than we did. Probably the biggest waste? A landline, which we need because of (a) a security system and (b) we use DSL, so it’s cheaper when bundled. I’d love to have nothing but high speed internet and a Roku Digital Video Player.

How To Become An Expert: It’s true that 10,000 hours of practice will make you an expert, I suppose, although I’d argue that you may not need to be an expert to be successful - these are two different things. Practice does work, though. I’ve been learning to juggle and after spending one hour mastering the basics, I’ve been doing it every day when I have a few free minutes. 10,000 hours will be a long time in the future, but the 5-10 hours I’ve put into practice have already made me a decent three-ball juggler.

And so it begins …: Jacob is doing what a lot of us aspire to and “retiring” early. Extremely early, hence the name of his blog. Jacob’s blog is thoughtful and doesn’t focus solely on any one aspect of his life. Although he takes a different approach than I would in many areas, I’ve found his blog thought-provoking, which is the best reason to read any blog.

Why Achieving an MBA is No Longer My Goal: What? Don’t let too many people hear this - someone else decided that going into debt for a degree he didn’t really want or need wasn’t worth it because his real-life experience in building a company was - gasp - more interesting and more profitable. My master’s degree in accounting is nothing more than a resume padder at this point - think that corporate income tax course I took in 1994 is worth anything now? The code’s changed so many times since then it’s ridiculous. I didn’t mind getting my master’s since I got a free ride (graduate scholarship and a teaching assistant stipend), but would I go $40,000+ into debt to get one now? No way. MBA’s aren’t worth what they were 20 years ago.

I Am Just A Blogger, Damn It!: Amen.

4 FREE Videos for INO TV!: If you have any interest in trading actively - which I wouldn’t for retirement savings or the bulk of my investment accounts, but do engage in with smaller amounts - here are some free technical videos.

photo credit: TheeErin (great photo! — Steve)

how to stick to a decision

What would you do if you were faced with almost total freedom of choice? If most of the barriers to your decision-making process were suddenly and abruptly removed? I found myself in this position a few months ago. With no employment, a location-independent side income, a stay-at-home spouse and two children not yet attending school, I was handed the final piece to the puzzle - an offer to buy our home.

I don’t think most people can easily comprehend how disorienting it feels to suddenly have no obligations or commitments to one’s current lifestyle. My wife and I woke up one day to realize that our house was sold, I had no job, she had no job, our kids were still young enough to relocate without any trouble and soon we won’t even have a place to live. We are as free as we can be (excepting, of course, that we have two children to care for).

I have dreamed for years of living in a semi-tropical climate. I am a fair skinned person, but I feel most comfortable in the heat and sun. I am not a cold weather person - probably due to growing up in the Deep South - and despite 13 years of living in Moscow and New York I have never fully adjusted to the cold climate. Bubelah is a product of a Central Asian climate - again, not nearly as cold as New York. Since we were married we have flirted with the idea of moving to a warm climate, and again and again the topic turned to Florida (as opposed to a more distant location like Arizona or California or South America).

It is easy, once you have the chance, to get scared of freedom. I wake up in the early hours many mornings wondering what will happen - are we doing the right thing, is it a mistake, should I be more cautious. But almost every day I think that we’ll never have this chance again. If I take a new contract in New York, or we buy a place in New York, or do almost anything other than taking our chance to move where we want to move that we’ll always wonder what if. We will never know what would have happened if we took hold of the opportunity we had to do what we wanted. Five years from now Little Buddy and Pumpkin will be in school, we’d be more settled and moving would be a nightmare.

Right now we can take a chance, and right or wrong we can make a decision and see how it affects our lives. If you believe in something for years and years and when the time comes to act on that belief you don’t seize it, I think you would regret it. I don’t want to regret the things I didn’t do, more than I fear the regret I might feel if I do them.