Comments on: paying for a missing item

By: Demos

Demos — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:28:12 +0000

I've known more than one waitress that would purposely not charge for a dessert or soft drink. Those add on items are often not as tightly controlled as something coming out of the kitchen (from a cook). They would give those freebies thinking that they would receive a better tip when the patron realized they were getting a "deal" by not having to pay for the dessert.

This makes it kind of a two wrongs don't make a right problem! I'm not saying one way or the other how you should have dealt with it. But when I read the post it immediately reminded me of the stories I have heard from people in the food industry.

Great post.

By: Demos

Demos — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:28:12 +0000

By: Lisa

Lisa — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:47:42 +0000

You should have brought it to the waiter's attention. It is not for us to decide what is morally acceptable and what is not; you know right from wrong or you would not have these feelings of guilt and of having done something you should not have. Theft is theft, and by you taking something and not paying for it, you are, in essence, stealing. You can try to rationalize and justify it any way you choose, but it is precisely this “let's see what I can get away with” attitude (albeit on a much broader scale), so prevalent in this country, that has aided and abetted in the general breakdown of societal mores. Next time, 'fess up – you'll feel a lot better about having done the right thing.

By: Carnival of Personal Finanace

Carnival of Personal Finanace — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 11:57:37 +0000

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By: Weekend Linkage - January 11, 2009

Weekend Linkage - January 11, 2009 — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 05:31:19 +0000

[...] Paying for a Missing Item @ Brip Blap [...]

By: SCP

SCP — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 02:56:35 +0000

I guess what I've learned is that I should probably pay more attention to the bill. I bet in most cases I would have just looked at the bottom line total for the meal, and if by quick calculation in my head it seemed “about right,” I would have just paid the bill and not known any different. Is it still a moral dilemma if you are ignorant?

By: Mrs. Accountability

Mrs. Accountability — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 15:43:24 +0000

Interestingly, I was taught as a youngster that a mistake like this in my favor was a “blessing in disguise” so I happily accepted the “gift” for many years. Especially when I was living at poverty level as an adult I'd rejoice. But let them overcharge me by a dime and I'd be right there letting them know about it. Especially since most grocery stores would give you the item free as your “reward” for catching their pricing mistake. Eventually I started realizing this was not being totally honest, and started letting them know about both instances. What's really interesting is a lot of places have looked at me like I've sprouted a third head when I let them know they cheated themselves. Some clerks at customer service don't want to do the extra work (I guess) so just wave it off. Now a lot of stores have stopped giving you the item free, so I base whether I tell them about it on how much it is, and if it's worth my time to stand in line waiting. If you had told the waitress or cashier you would not feel bad about it – so next time you should. I bet they will not charge you anyway. Good post.

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Weekly Roundup: Homemade Birthday Cake Edition | Frugal Dad — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 11:02:33 +0000

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By: bethh

bethh — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 22:18:20 +0000

Well, today I went shopping at Target, and while waiting for my friend to be rung up, I looked over my receipt, trying to figure out why it came up as less than I'd expected. Had something been on sale?

Nope: the $15.99 roasting pan I'd selected had instead rung up as a $6.99 cooling rack. My immediate emotion was regret that I'd looked at the receipt, because now I had knowledge that I had to do something with. Of course I thought of this thread! I brought it to her attention and we had to wait for a manager, return the “cooling rack” and ring up the roasting pan. But, I did the right thing and didn't regret it, and never seriously considered doing otherwise, though it would've been easy to do so. I would have felt sheepish/ashamed telling my friend what I'd done after we left the store.

By: Money Matters

Money Matters — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 13:40:57 +0000

I think it would be the right thing to do to bring it to their attention, and allow yourself to be charged for it. After all, you bought the dessert, and agreed to pay for it.

Would I have brought it to their attention? I'm sure there have been similar situations where I've brought this type of thing up, and others where I just let it slide. I know we all get kind of that little bit of excitement when we find something like this, kind of like we're getting away with something. Like we're pulling one over on "the man". Once that feeling passes, however, it is usually replaced with one of regret (at least for me).

When in doubt, do the thing that you know would mean that people would have no cause to question your integrity.

By: Frugal Dad

Frugal Dad — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 11:07:27 +0000

The other day we ran to Target and came out with a couple bags, two kids and it was pouring rain. We piled in the car soaking wet and then realized my son had picked up a $3.00 toy car that we had not paid for. My wife and I looked at each other and I agreed to take it back in the store to pay for it. Part of it was to set an example for the kids, and part of it was because it would have eaten at me for days.

Since it inspired a blog post from you a couple days later, I imagine it is bothering you, too. If it is, you have the answer to your question. Still, I probably would have been tempted to do the same thing sans kids. Don't beat yourself up over it. Go back the restaurant and order a couple desserts and coffee and leave another generous tip.

By: fathersez

fathersez — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:47:19 +0000

I am living in a glass house, so I do not want to throw stones. Still this discusion is very interesting.

I would look at this as taking advantage of someone's mistake. And since I would not want someone to do the same to me, I'll be trying my best not to do that to others.

If I had noticed the missing item in the bill, I would have told the manager or the owner.

But beating a red light, especially in the early hours of the morning when there is no one around, that's fine with me. In fact, very fine.

By: deepali

deepali — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:31:33 +0000

Steve, I have a solution for you that will make you feel a lot better about this whole thing:
let it go.

(I think it was great that you posted it though, since it was bothering you. I hope you found this cathartic)

By: Lara

Lara — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:37:42 +0000

I once walked out of the shoe store, got in the car and went home, looked at the receipt and discovered that I was not charged for one of the pairs of shoes that I got (about $80.00). I definitely didn't go back and told them about it. Just like I've been charged twice or the wrong price in a supermarket and never look at the receipt right there and then and tell the cashier. I think we “lose” more money in this life than we “find”. So, I personally wouldn't feel too bad about it – the dessert was clearly a few days old from the fridge, anyway.

By: Bucky

Bucky — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:06:48 +0000

There is a fairly easy remedy, BripBlap, to deal with your obvious guilt over the check. Go back to the restaurant, find the waiter, and give him ten bucks to cover the cost of the desert and tax and tip.

Guilt-B-Gone!