night guy and morning guy

“I never get enough sleep. I stay up late at night, cause I’m Night Guy. Night Guy wants to stay up late. ‘What about getting up after five hours sleep?’, oh that’s Morning Guy’s problem. That’s not my problem, I’m Night Guy. I stay up as late as I want. So you get up in the morning, you’re exhausted, groggy… oooh I hate that Night Guy! See, Night Guy always screws Morning Guy. There’s nothing Morning Guy can do. The only Morning Guy can do is try and oversleep often enough so that Day Guy looses his job and Night Guy has no money to go out anymore.”

– Jerry Seinfeld


Unless you are an organized and disciplined person, you know the reality of Seinfeld’s bit. You stay up too late, or you didn’t get around to getting ready for the next day.  The next morning you hate the “you of last night”.  But let’s take this a step further.  Today you are night guy.  In ten years you will be  morning guy. It only takes a few minutes to think of ten ways night guy can make morning guy’s life unpleasant.

  1. Night guy needs to buy a new video game system, or a plasma TV.  Morning guy can’t come up with a house down payment.
  2. Night guy wants another helping of the bloomin’ onion.  Morning guy has high blood pressure and cholesterol and suffers from overweight.
  3. Night guy was having too much fun in college to worry about networking and finding a good first job.  Morning guy is stuck taking a lousy position and suffering the rest of his career because of it.
  4. Night guy doesn’t have the time to set up auto payment for his accounts.  Morning guy has to go through his statements at the end of the month and figure up if he has enough to cover his late fees.
  5. Night guy never got around to worrying about a 401(k).  Morning guy wonders why his friends who started saving 10 years ago have so much more money than he does even though he puts more in per month.
  6. Night guy drives fast and hard and never gets around to doing car maintenance.  Morning guy’s car falls apart and he has to buy a new one.
  7. Night guy doesn’t keep in touch with his former classmates and colleagues and friends.  Morning guy wishes that he had kept up with his buddy who’s head of a new start-up.
  8. Night guy always figured that today wasn’t a good day to take chances – tomorrow he’d be a bit more prepared, a bit more safe.  Morning guy wonders why he’s still stuck in the same boring position.
  9. Night guy spends like it’s going out of style.  Morning guy wonders why he’s the only 72 year old still working.
  10. Night guy always figured he’d do the stuff he dreamed about someday.  Morning guy is sorry that he’s too tired and old to do the stuff he dreamed about yesterday.

Don’t be night guy. Think like morning guy – in advance – and you’ll be a much happier person.

10 Replies to “night guy and morning guy”

  1. Goddamn you morning guy! Ruining night guy’s fun.

    Is there someone in between the two? I’m trying to find that person. Of course, it would help if night guy went to bed already.

  2. You are exactly right about this and the Seinfeld angle was right on. Keep up the great content…

  3. Nice post, love the Seinfeld tie-in.
    This actually ties in pretty well to the literal angle of actually turning yourself into a morning person. Get up before everyone else does, get something done — whether it’s writing, exercise, reading, whatever — before you even start your work day. That way you’ve already done something productive and you don’t have to put the pressure of acting when you’re tired and cranky after work.

  4. Gosh I am fighting this right now.

    Good to know I’m not alone lol. Hard to control that inner brat. Morning guy is a lot wiser, that’s for sure.

  5. SO.. are you a morning or a night guy ? :))

    -love the seinfeld quote-

  6. I’m a morning guy – since the day I was born I’ve found it SO easy to sleep within minutes (literally) at night, but I’m usually up at 6 am or earlier every day, even on weekends. Yesterday I was up at 4:30 am. I am VERY much a morning guy!

  7. Well – i’m for sure not a morning guy – love to stay until late and sleep in the morning 🙂

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