Comments on: I will not pay for my children’s college education, part 2

By: j.

j. — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 07:18:20 +0000

I hate to say this, but I have been out of undergraduate school for almost fifteen years and whenever I interview for a job, the first question asked is: “Where did you go to school?” Granted, I am in education, but I know first hand institutions care deeply about the quality of one's education, and sadly that fact does correlate to the college one attends. I know it is not, in truth, as simple as this, but it is still the marker many employers use. I cannot stress this enough: go to the best school you can. It will open doors!

By: j.

j. — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:18:20 +0000

By: moored55

moored55 — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 00:59:39 +0000

I have twin girls just entering college. I am supplying a set amount toward college a year. The way I calculate it if they go to a junior college, away from home with all the attendant expenses, for the first two years and then to a state school the next two years, and work 50 hours a week summers, and work 8 hours a week the rest of the year, they should graduate without debt. I will supply a dependable used car. So upon graduation they should each have a decent car, a decent degree, and no debt. Sounds just like my experience, and it worked out for me pretty well. It's also fair, permits them to have a good start if they work hard, and limits my exposure. I'll do something like this for weddings, etc going forward.

By: Jes

Jes — Fri, 01 May 2009 01:58:46 +0000

I understand everything that you said, and agree on your major points. College IS very expensive and, more than likely, its only going to get worse. And parents should do whatever necessary to help instill the love of learning in their children as early as possible, which will only help pay for college in the long run.
However, i do strongly disagree with the statement you made about “hopefully never being a burden to him” in your conclusion. Paying for your childs education at any level, should never feel like a burden. When the financial websites list their “key areas”, one of them will always be “making investments”. When you pay for your childs education, you are MAKING AN INVESTMENT IN YOUR CHILD to help them in creating a better future for themselves.

By: kitchen aid part

kitchen aid part — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:50:09 +0000

getting education in college is always cost a big money.we as parent of children should think smartly to pay the fee.

By: car loan modification

car loan modification — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:21:21 +0000

If we consider that tuition, fees, etc. increase at the same rate going forward (no sure thing) then a private school tuition for four years will be $42,000 in today’s dollars by the time my son is in college, around the year 2024. ———— what's the basis of this prediction?

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By: moneymonk

moneymonk — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:59:43 +0000

College or not, I will try to support them. However, the days of go to school, get a good job, and work for 30 yrs are over.

The Entrepreneur route id more effective, however school does not hurt.

It more important to teach my kids about money, credt and investing more than go to college

By: Glenn Tiede

Glenn Tiede — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:35:02 +0000

I'm a college educator (professor of astronomy) and I agree with you completely. I work with students everyday, and the ones that are putting themselves through school are all around better students then the ones who are getting a “free ride” from Mom and Dad. They are better motivated, self-starters, more likely to ask questions and seek help outside of class, etc. Of course there are exceptions in both groups, but this is the general pattern I have found.

I put my self through college, and now that I am on the other side of the lectern, I think it was one of the best gifts my parents ever gave me.

By: chris

chris — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:04:23 +0000

I had students loans and worked like heck after college to pay them off quickly. Since coming to Southern California, I am struck by how many kids I have heard say (I teach high school), “I can't afford to go to college, I have no money,” or, ” I can't go to college, no one is going to pay for me.” WHAT?????? Are they kidding? Take out a freakin' loan if you want to go! We don't have a 529 for our kids. I am saving a lot of money, but for our retirement, not for their college. My husband got into a good trade union and makes more money than I will ever make. College isn't necessary, if you find the right path. I have a master's degree and 19 years experience and with the economy in So Cal, I can't get a job – they can hire two people for what they would have to pay me.

By: Slinky

Slinky — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:55:10 +0000

Oh, and let’s not forget how great of a resume you’ll have by the time you graduate. Especially if you do a coop or internships in your field.

By: Slinky

Slinky — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:50:48 +0000

The irony of this whole argument, is that the kids that will benefit most from working their way through college, are the ones least likely to have to. The ones who would appreciate the free ride the most are the ones least likely to get one.

As someone who just graduated college two months ago, I feel the need to make a few points.

To the side that believes in free rides:

First: college is not for “finding out who you are”, “having fun”, partying or any of those other things. Do that and then go to college. You’ll save yourself a lot of money. College is for getting a degree. It’s a privilege, not a right.

Second: working 20 hours a week and carrying a full course load being unrealistic? Huh, I’m pretty sure I did exactly that. I graduated with a 3.7 gpa and about 15k in student debt. None of the debt was for living expenses, just tuition. I would have owed less if I had been more focused on getting my degree in the beginning. My last year of school I didn’t work at all because I had saved enough that I didn’t need to.

Third: Ivy league only matters in certain careers (law, politics, etc). I went to a state school and I’m making damn good money for my area straight out of college. Experience = money, not Ivy league. And anyway, if you’re making so much more, you can afford a few more loans, right?

And to the other side

If you’re well off and can contribute….
Have you heard of the EFC? Expected Family Contribution? It’d be really nice if you’d all kick that in. That pretty much levels the playing field. Depending on how well off you are, it can make it significantly more difficult to go to school. If I ever become very wealthy (and I plan to) I shall create a grant that kicks in the EFC for students that are putting themselves through school on their own.

If you’re not wealthy…..
Let your kid live at home if he wants (and goes to a local). It doesn’t cost you nearly as much to support them as it would for them to live elsewhere. Also nothing wrong with ‘renting’ their room and having them help with groceries if money is really tight. It’s still a better deal for them.

All that said, I started a 529 plan for my nephew. At the rate his mother spends money, I doubt they’ll have the cash to help him out at all. I contribute some money each time there is a gift giving occasion for him. It’s a gift for him from his sensible aunt. His grandmother (my mother) also contributes when she can.

By: Victor

Victor — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 15:31:54 +0000

Hi,
Just came across your website, enjoy reading it. I have been kind of wrestling with this question myself. I have two sons, with my oldest one, even though things were tough, we managed to put away some money for his college education. He’s been out of high school for a year, he’s gone through 4K of money ( going to a JC) and has’nt accomplished anything!!. He drops out of classes etc. At this point, I am starting to feel like he does’nt appreciate this money at all. My wife says that he will come around, but, I am not so sure. We also have a 529 for my younger son, and honestly with the way things are going in this economy. I sometimes wonder if the money would not be better spent either pre-paying our mortgage, or contributing to a Roth IRA.. Is anyone else out there having to make decisions like this, if so, I would like to know some of the pros and cons of each alternative.

By: Steve (Brip Blap)

Steve (Brip Blap) — Thu, 15 May 2008 00:59:38 +0000

@Amber: I doubt very much that I’m going to leave my kids completely high and dry for college costs. As you mention, I’ll probably contribute something. I don’t think that I’ll send them into college saying “I’ve supported you for 18 years – whoops! no more!” It’s not going to be a surprise. I will simply say that I don’t see much advantage in their mother and me bankrupting ourselves to send them to school; if they want a private school education they’ll have to do what you mentioned and take care of tuition. If they need help with rent, books, etc., sure. If they want me to pay for Private College X when they have a full ride ready to Public University Y – I’m not prepared to make that leap. I don’t see that as something I need to provide them – and in fact, if I prepare myself adequately for retirement so they never need to support ME that will be a big gift to them, too.

I think we’re on the same page – thanks for sharing your story that shows that people can take responsibility and pay for their own education if it’s what THEY want and value, not just something their parents hand them!

By: Amber

Amber — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:09:25 +0000

I agree with you about college. The issue you raise seems to be to be more about whether money set aside for college is the right place to put that money, or whether it should be put somewhere else (like a retirement fund). Based on my personal experience in the last few years, I think you are totally correct that kids should take some responsibility for their education (and this “maybe it was like 30 years ago” comments are BS).

I am the oldest of 3, and I always knew that (1) I was expected to go to college and (2) I was expected to earn scholarship money if I wanted to go to a non-state school and that (3) My parents would help me out with living expenses if needed. I chose a private school (graduating in 2003), and had full tuition paid with a partial Air Force ROTC scholarship and partial Leadership scholarship at the school. My parents paid most of my housing expenses, and I had a part time campus job to pay for the extras. My parents moved to Georgia when my sister was nearing HS graduation… so she could go to college totally free (all high schoolers with B average can go on hope scholarship to state school). My younger brother followed the same route as me (private school and ROTC scholarship), graduating in 2006 and is now in dental school.

I do think it is fair to expect your children to “earn” all or part of their college tuition (through scholarships, loans, jobs, etc). However, I think it is also important to be willing to help them out with money to make up the difference. I had a friend in college who had a very wealthy father who wanted him to “learn to be tough” and pay for college himself. As mentioned before, the financial aid is contingent on the parent’s salary, so this dad who refused to have anything to do with paying for college penalized his son. This created all sorts of bitterness between them, which still exists to this day. The friend got himself through Physical Therapy school, but is now saddled with huge debts and lots of anger.

I don’t think parents can really say “you are expected to go to college” and then say, even though I’ve supported you for the past 18 years, you’re totally on your own for college. That doesn’t seem to backup the assertation that college is important. So I think its a balance.

Anyway. Just some thoughts.