Comments on: how to avoid giving gifts at work http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/ thoughtful personal finance, career and health advice Sun, 05 Feb 2012 07:46:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Best Time To Shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx | Business and Sports http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30632 Best Time To Shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx | Business and Sports Tue, 22 Jun 2010 09:32:28 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30632 [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work – @brip blap [...] [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work – @brip blap [...]

]]> By: tignan http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30604 tignan Sat, 12 Jun 2010 16:35:24 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30604 Help! The Office Busybody sent an email yesterday kicking off the request for participation and ideas for festivities to celebrate our boss's impending nuptials. Our boss is one of the most impersonal people I've ever met - in the 3 years I've worked there he has *never* asked/commented on one personal issue to me. We found out he was engaged from a picture that appeared in his office with a woman with a ring. She came in one day, went into his office, the door was then closed. We were never introduced - no one has met her. So now we're faced with The Busybody revving her engines for who-knows-what elaborate celebration she will plan. I'm sure he is not interested in anything at all. Although I've participated in the past with these types of events, I'm done. I'm with all the other reasons and responders in this thread. I just want to do my job!!! How do I tactfully stay away from the Party, the Gift, the Card? I just want to do my job!!! One last thing...two months ago when it was the boss's birthday, The Busybody circulated a card/envelope. I did not sign/contribute, just passed it on. It made its' way back to my office 3 times since they didn't see my signature. is all hope lost? Help! The Office Busybody sent an email yesterday kicking off the request for participation and ideas for festivities to celebrate our boss's impending nuptials. Our boss is one of the most impersonal people I've ever met – in the 3 years I've worked there he has *never* asked/commented on one personal issue to me. We found out he was engaged from a picture that appeared in his office with a woman with a ring. She came in one day, went into his office, the door was then closed. We were never introduced – no one has met her. So now we're faced with The Busybody revving her engines for who-knows-what elaborate celebration she will plan. I'm sure he is not interested in anything at all. Although I've participated in the past with these types of events, I'm done. I'm with all the other reasons and responders in this thread. I just want to do my job!!! How do I tactfully stay away from the Party, the Gift, the Card? I just want to do my job!!! One last thing…two months ago when it was the boss's birthday, The Busybody circulated a card/envelope. I did not sign/contribute, just passed it on. It made its' way back to my office 3 times since they didn't see my signature. is all hope lost?

]]> By: Best Time To Shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx | FinanceMoz.com http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30571 Best Time To Shop at Marshalls and TJ Maxx | FinanceMoz.com Sat, 05 Jun 2010 21:27:41 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30571 [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work – @brip blap [...] [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work – @brip blap [...]

]]> By: Slinky http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30560 Slinky Fri, 04 Jun 2010 03:37:18 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30560 I work with a bunch of guy computer nerds. It's SO nice. There are occasions where an envelope is passed around, but it's very low pressure. Someone gives you the envelope. You can sign the card and/or donate money or do nothing at all. Either way, put your name on the envelope and pass it off to someone whose name isn't on the envelope and you never see it again. Likewise with girl scout cookies or chocolate bars. People will put order sheets or a sign saying they're selling stuff up on their cube and that's it. I've bought a box or two of girl scout cookies and that's about it. :) I work with a bunch of guy computer nerds. It's SO nice. There are occasions where an envelope is passed around, but it's very low pressure. Someone gives you the envelope. You can sign the card and/or donate money or do nothing at all. Either way, put your name on the envelope and pass it off to someone whose name isn't on the envelope and you never see it again. Likewise with girl scout cookies or chocolate bars. People will put order sheets or a sign saying they're selling stuff up on their cube and that's it. I've bought a box or two of girl scout cookies and that's about it. :)

]]> By: air jordan 9 http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30540 air jordan 9 Mon, 31 May 2010 11:53:22 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30540 Well , the view of the passage is totally correct ,your details is really reasonable and you guy give us valuable informative post, I totally agree the standpoint of upstairs. I often surfing on this forum when I m free and I find there are so much good information we can learn in this forum! Well , the view of the passage is totally correct ,your details is really reasonable and you guy give us valuable informative post, I totally agree the standpoint of upstairs. I often surfing on this forum when I m free and I find there are so much good information we can learn in this forum!

]]> By: Shelly http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30526 Shelly Mon, 31 May 2010 01:18:55 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30526 You discussed the "why" of not giving at work, but not the "how to." You discussed the “why” of not giving at work, but not the “how to.”

]]> By: Patti http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30523 Patti Fri, 28 May 2010 18:55:38 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30523 I don't want to feel obligated to return the favor of buying an office gift. I'll pitch in every now and then if I actually like the person and we have a good work relationship. We gave our department's administrative assistant flowers and a card on Administrative Professionals Day in April. <br><br>My birthday was 2 weeks ago and I brought in homemade Thai food for my co-workers. I didn't need a special card or a gift. It was nice and simple. If they wanted to buy me lunch that Friday as a thank you, I'm not going to complain. =)<br><br>I don't like people soliciting me for charities. I'll give only if we're good friends, otherwise I think they just went through their contacts and listed everyone they know. I don't want to feel obligated to return the favor of buying an office gift. I'll pitch in every now and then if I actually like the person and we have a good work relationship. We gave our department's administrative assistant flowers and a card on Administrative Professionals Day in April.

My birthday was 2 weeks ago and I brought in homemade Thai food for my co-workers. I didn't need a special card or a gift. It was nice and simple. If they wanted to buy me lunch that Friday as a thank you, I'm not going to complain. =)

I don't like people soliciting me for charities. I'll give only if we're good friends, otherwise I think they just went through their contacts and listed everyone they know.

]]> By: skrpune http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30482 skrpune Fri, 21 May 2010 10:36:19 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30482 Agreed. The latest one where I work was shower gifts for someone who I barely know...repeated solicitation emails, followed with phone calls trying to cajole everyone in my office to take part in a video compilation. If it were someone I knew well, maybe...but for someone in a different department that I've met a few times - sorry, I don't think so. If I know you well and you're my friend, I'm more than happy to give a gift. But if I don't even know your wife's name and just found out she's pregnant, then perhaps it's not appropriate for me to give you a gift! Agreed. The latest one where I work was shower gifts for someone who I barely know…repeated solicitation emails, followed with phone calls trying to cajole everyone in my office to take part in a video compilation. If it were someone I knew well, maybe…but for someone in a different department that I've met a few times – sorry, I don't think so. If I know you well and you're my friend, I'm more than happy to give a gift. But if I don't even know your wife's name and just found out she's pregnant, then perhaps it's not appropriate for me to give you a gift!

]]> By: Linda http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30479 Linda Thu, 20 May 2010 20:27:38 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30479 I talked everyone in my office (admittedly a small one) into giving to a charity every year instead of exchanging x-mas presents. We take turns picking the charity and taking the deduction. I talked everyone in my office (admittedly a small one) into giving to a charity every year instead of exchanging x-mas presents. We take turns picking the charity and taking the deduction.

]]> By: Weekly Roundup: Teenager Buys House With Cash http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30477 Weekly Roundup: Teenager Buys House With Cash Thu, 20 May 2010 09:01:19 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30477 [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work. Ugh, this is a tough one. I typically get suckered in but these can really add up and bust a good budget. (@brip blap) [...] [...] How to Avoid Giving Gifts at Work. Ugh, this is a tough one. I typically get suckered in but these can really add up and bust a good budget. (@brip blap) [...]

]]> By: couponninja http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30467 couponninja Mon, 17 May 2010 22:44:30 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30467 I don't blame you in the least. <br>I find I will give a little when I can, if I have it. At my work, we do collect when someone has had a hard time, we have had several co-workers over the years had major life issues i.e. fires, severe accidents, etc.<br>But I find it hard to give to a retirement fund, a baby fund, a wedding fund, etc. especially since I have worked at my one of my places of employment [a grocery store] for almost ten years and that I MET my husband there. We got married three years ago and while some people did little things for us, the department we both work in as a whole didn't do anything. Not even a card, I am sure I sound horrible but these are people who have gone out of the way for other people's weddings, retirements, etc. <br>So since then, I don't really contribute.<br>I can say, I am a sucker for school fundraisers, I enjoy supporting a child's education. I might not always buy something, but I will at least look. I don't blame you in the least.
I find I will give a little when I can, if I have it. At my work, we do collect when someone has had a hard time, we have had several co-workers over the years had major life issues i.e. fires, severe accidents, etc.
But I find it hard to give to a retirement fund, a baby fund, a wedding fund, etc. especially since I have worked at my one of my places of employment [a grocery store] for almost ten years and that I MET my husband there. We got married three years ago and while some people did little things for us, the department we both work in as a whole didn't do anything. Not even a card, I am sure I sound horrible but these are people who have gone out of the way for other people's weddings, retirements, etc.
So since then, I don't really contribute.
I can say, I am a sucker for school fundraisers, I enjoy supporting a child's education. I might not always buy something, but I will at least look.

]]> By: FranticWoman http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30465 FranticWoman Mon, 17 May 2010 20:50:21 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30465 I work with mostly women so every week there is a handout in my office. The busybodies actually stand there holding an envelope and write your name on it after you give cash. The intended party knows who gave and who didn't. This practice is costing me several hundreds of dollars a year. And guess what? When my father died and I had surgery guess what I got? Nada. Oh - and if you are marrying the coworker you were cheating on your wife with - after I gave you cash for your first wedding shower - do not come around for more donations - stating you want CASH not gifts. Why don't you ask the first wife for that vase I got them? You took her husband so this shouldn't be a problem.<br><br>I dont mind giving for those I am close to, I'm not crazy selfish. I do get tired that for EVERYTHING I am expected to cough up funds - including "congrats on your husband at a different company retiring" and "I heard your mom is having an outpatient procedure this week, here's a fruit basket." This week it is "So and so's daughter is getting married so give us cash for a gift." I dont know the daughter, groom or even the daughter's name and I'm not invited to the wedding so no. Oh, yer right,that makes me selfish and rude!<br><br>A pet peeve of mine as well. Thanks for posting it.<br><br>-FW I work with mostly women so every week there is a handout in my office. The busybodies actually stand there holding an envelope and write your name on it after you give cash. The intended party knows who gave and who didn't. This practice is costing me several hundreds of dollars a year. And guess what? When my father died and I had surgery guess what I got? Nada. Oh – and if you are marrying the coworker you were cheating on your wife with – after I gave you cash for your first wedding shower – do not come around for more donations – stating you want CASH not gifts. Why don't you ask the first wife for that vase I got them? You took her husband so this shouldn't be a problem.

I dont mind giving for those I am close to, I'm not crazy selfish. I do get tired that for EVERYTHING I am expected to cough up funds – including “congrats on your husband at a different company retiring” and “I heard your mom is having an outpatient procedure this week, here's a fruit basket.” This week it is “So and so's daughter is getting married so give us cash for a gift.” I dont know the daughter, groom or even the daughter's name and I'm not invited to the wedding so no. Oh, yer right,that makes me selfish and rude!

A pet peeve of mine as well. Thanks for posting it.

-FW

]]> By: FranticWoman http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30466 FranticWoman Mon, 17 May 2010 20:50:01 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30466 I work with mostly women so every week there is a handout in my office. The busybodies actually stand there holding an envelope and write your name on it after you give cash. The intended party knows who gave and who didn't. This practice is costing me several hundreds of dollars a year. And guess what? When my father died and I had surgery guess what I got? Nada. Oh - and if you are marrying the coworker you were cheating on your wife with - after I gave you cash for your first wedding shower - do not come around for more donations - stating you want CASH not gifts. Why don't you ask the first wife for that vase I got them? You took her husband so this shouldn't be a problem.<br><br>I dont mind giving for those I am close to, I'm not crazy selfish. I do get tired that for EVERYTHING I am expected to cough up funds - including "congrats on your husband at a different company retiring" and "I heard your mom is having an outpatient procedure this week, here's a fruit basket." This week it is "So and so's daughter is getting married so give us cash for a gift." I dont know the daughter, groom or even the daughter's name and I'm not invited to the wedding so no. Oh, yer right,that makes me selfish and rude!<br><br>A pet peeve of mine as well. Thanks for posting it.<br><br>-FW I work with mostly women so every week there is a handout in my office. The busybodies actually stand there holding an envelope and write your name on it after you give cash. The intended party knows who gave and who didn't. This practice is costing me several hundreds of dollars a year. And guess what? When my father died and I had surgery guess what I got? Nada. Oh – and if you are marrying the coworker you were cheating on your wife with – after I gave you cash for your first wedding shower – do not come around for more donations – stating you want CASH not gifts. Why don't you ask the first wife for that vase I got them? You took her husband so this shouldn't be a problem.

I dont mind giving for those I am close to, I'm not crazy selfish. I do get tired that for EVERYTHING I am expected to cough up funds – including “congrats on your husband at a different company retiring” and “I heard your mom is having an outpatient procedure this week, here's a fruit basket.” This week it is “So and so's daughter is getting married so give us cash for a gift.” I dont know the daughter, groom or even the daughter's name and I'm not invited to the wedding so no. Oh, yer right,that makes me selfish and rude!

A pet peeve of mine as well. Thanks for posting it.

-FW

]]> By: Donna Freedman http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30457 Donna Freedman Sun, 16 May 2010 05:32:00 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30457 I worked at a newspaper for 17 years and there was a lot of gift-giving. But it was handled discreetly. The person doing the collection sent out a room-wide e-mail saying, "I'm collecting for a gift to celebrate so-and-so's new baby/going-away party/successful sex-change operation/whatever. If you want to contribute, see me."<br>Same with walkathons, GS cookies, etc.: The person made it known this was happening and if you wanted to be involved, see him.<br>I never felt guilty for not contributing to everything. It was always optional.<br>And in tight economic times, you might REALLY be putting someone on the spot by demanding that he or she pony up for a gift. For all you know, that co-worker might be down to $5 until payday. <br>It's my feeling that if someone brings in candles or Tupperware to sell, then someone needs to get Human Resources involved and make it a solicitation-free zone. I worked at a newspaper for 17 years and there was a lot of gift-giving. But it was handled discreetly. The person doing the collection sent out a room-wide e-mail saying, “I'm collecting for a gift to celebrate so-and-so's new baby/going-away party/successful sex-change operation/whatever. If you want to contribute, see me.”
Same with walkathons, GS cookies, etc.: The person made it known this was happening and if you wanted to be involved, see him.
I never felt guilty for not contributing to everything. It was always optional.
And in tight economic times, you might REALLY be putting someone on the spot by demanding that he or she pony up for a gift. For all you know, that co-worker might be down to $5 until payday.
It's my feeling that if someone brings in candles or Tupperware to sell, then someone needs to get Human Resources involved and make it a solicitation-free zone.

]]> By: nateINTENOG http://www.bripblap.com/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/comment-page-1/#comment-30456 nateINTENOG Sat, 15 May 2010 18:56:06 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2010/how-to-avoid-giving-gifts-at-work/#comment-30456 I get where you are coming from. I really do. However, it is clear that your "love language" is not gift giving (from your internal observation that you are stigy with gifts for your own family). I was the same way -- until I realized that many people feel loved through a gift - if even a pointless one. I think it is a case by case situation - but please stop being so stingy. The more you lighten up, the more people will like and respect you. They will trust you more. I get where you are coming from. I really do. However, it is clear that your “love language” is not gift giving (from your internal observation that you are stigy with gifts for your own family). I was the same way — until I realized that many people feel loved through a gift – if even a pointless one. I think it is a case by case situation – but please stop being so stingy. The more you lighten up, the more people will like and respect you. They will trust you more.

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