I’d rather note that if there is a need for separation, it is between alcohol and socializing. I do not quite grasp the concept of the two being intertwined.

I think you did not realize the difference between “baby in a bar in the uncrowded afternoon” and “baby in the night club with drunk people and loud music”. I also laughed at the 21 year restriction – I was just two weeks ago with my kid (1,5 years old) in a resto/bar/cafe with that age limit and we joked with my friends about in what age will the kid be too old to come and hang out there. (The kid was mostly sitting on a lap or in a chair, quite happy to spend time in good company.) During the 1,5 hours in the bar, there were also two other kids around the same age, happily playing in a comfy couch while parents had a glass of wine and socializing. I wasn’t drinking as I am also pregnant, but having a glass of wine at a restaurant with your kid is no different than the glass at home, or at a quiet child-friendly (yes!) bar-cafe.

No, getting drunk with a child is not appropriate, but it is a rule that works at home as well. I also remember a friend who had a small baby in a wedding party with her – the baby was in a sling on her laps, sleeping beautifully while the mom and pop stayed up until 4 am, chatting and having fun. (We have noticed our kid sleeps better when there is a chatter around. We’ve held champagne tasting at home, as well.)

I also try to avoid “child-friendly” restaurants like a plague. They mostly serve elevated fast-food, fries and burgers, and are generally noisy and unpleasant. We take our kid (since 3-4 months of age) to good, nice places and he has already managed through two courses in an Italian white-clothed restaurant sitting happily in a high chair, with minimal entertainment (well, the kids that young truly find entertainment in the simplest things). We have eaten on travels (yes, we also travel with the kid! abroad!) in beautiful and even romantic restaurants without much hassle – in southern Europe it works particularly well as we need to eat earlier than the crowds because of bedtime.

Next step is to take the kids (in 3 years, I guess) to a 5 course meal I still remember when we were celebrating our engagement in a michelin-star restaurant, and there was a family of five in the next room. The restaurant only served 5 course meals. The youngest kid was maybe 3-4 years. No hassle, at all. You don’t achieve that without training the kid to gradually dine out.

It’s the culture difference, I know. The more south you travel in Europe, the more you see kids around. The later you see them. The families sit outside in restaurants and finish their meals at 11 pm. No one is the odd one out. And well, I guess in US you go to prison for letting the kid taste wine at 7 years, whether it was mixed with water or not

Bars in the US by contrast are meant to be taboo. Proximity to alcohol before 21 is taboo. Having a daily glass of wine is taboo on some levels. So I think it's natural that in the US, one would see the idea of children in a bar to be questionable at best.

I often see families in target or Meijer later at night (past 10:00 sometimes) with small children in tow. I find that harmful as kids need a solid night sleep. A bar now and again before their bedtime- nothing to bad. As long as it is not some rough partying or college frat bar. Sometimes a local pub can be more kid friendly earlier. We always try to go out to eat closer to 5 when we do go out with the kiddos. The kitchen tends to be faster and the restaurants less busy.