Comments on: lack of communication, or stupidity? http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/ wealth, work and life success Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:15:29 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Laura G http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29626 Laura G Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:49:10 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29626 Yeah, my parents are the other way around -- my mom's been a stay-at-home mom since I was born (despite them being empty-nesters now -- hey, whatever works for them!), but my dad has *no idea* what his salary is. My mom quizzed him once and he wasn't even close (I don't know if he was high or low, though). He has direct deposit, and she does all the bills and facepalms a lot when he makes completely clueless observations. On the plus side, they do have files with this information for each other. On the minus side? The file are password-protected, and the passwords? In the files. Of course. Yeah, my parents are the other way around — my mom's been a stay-at-home mom since I was born (despite them being empty-nesters now — hey, whatever works for them!), but my dad has *no idea* what his salary is. My mom quizzed him once and he wasn't even close (I don't know if he was high or low, though). He has direct deposit, and she does all the bills and facepalms a lot when he makes completely clueless observations. On the plus side, they do have files with this information for each other. On the minus side? The file are password-protected, and the passwords? In the files. Of course.

]]> By: Laura G http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29205 Laura G Wed, 21 Oct 2009 13:49:10 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29205 Yeah, my parents are the other way around -- my mom's been a stay-at-home mom since I was born (despite them being empty-nesters now -- hey, whatever works for them!), but my dad has *no idea* what his salary is. My mom quizzed him once and he wasn't even close (I don't know if he was high or low, though). He has direct deposit, and she does all the bills and facepalms a lot when he makes completely clueless observations. On the plus side, they do have files with this information for each other. On the minus side? The file are password-protected, and the passwords? In the files. Of course. Yeah, my parents are the other way around — my mom's been a stay-at-home mom since I was born (despite them being empty-nesters now — hey, whatever works for them!), but my dad has *no idea* what his salary is. My mom quizzed him once and he wasn't even close (I don't know if he was high or low, though). He has direct deposit, and she does all the bills and facepalms a lot when he makes completely clueless observations. On the plus side, they do have files with this information for each other. On the minus side? The file are password-protected, and the passwords? In the files. Of course.

]]> By: mappys http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29147 mappys Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:08:53 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29147 In ffice right now will go through this latter.<br><br>Thanks<br>oemal<br>______________________________________________<br><a href="http://www.oforu.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">aion kinha</a> | <a href="http://www.eing.com" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">aion kinha</a> In ffice right now will go through this latter.

Thanks
oemal
______________________________________________
aion kinha | aion kinha

]]> By: Weekend Personal Finance Links (Catching Up Edition) | thesweetmagnolia.com http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29139 Weekend Personal Finance Links (Catching Up Edition) | thesweetmagnolia.com Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:16:43 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29139 [...] Brip Blap asks lack of communication, or stupidity? [...] [...] Brip Blap asks lack of communication, or stupidity? [...]

]]> By: Weekend Personal Finance Links (Catching Up Edition) | thesweetmagnolia.com http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29140 Weekend Personal Finance Links (Catching Up Edition) | thesweetmagnolia.com Thu, 08 Oct 2009 18:16:43 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29140 [...] Brip Blap asks lack of communication, or stupidity? [...] [...] Brip Blap asks lack of communication, or stupidity? [...]

]]> By: Steve @ bripblap http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29134 Steve @ bripblap Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:05:48 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29134 @Bret: Unfortunately I composed a reply that got crushed in a system lock-up, but Bubelah did manage to sum up my thinking. I'd say that the main thing I'd worry about in your shoes would be two statements you made:<br><br>1. "I have thought about putting together a packet."<br>2. "I'm pretty sure she could learn to pay the bills"<br><br>Neither of those statements really sounds very confident. If you have a packet - or even if you have an accountant or trusted family member who has a good understanding of your finances - fine. But if you don't have a packet, your family's at risk. Don't assume charmed lives are guaranteed to continue to be charmed - that's why we all have insurance. @Bret: Unfortunately I composed a reply that got crushed in a system lock-up, but Bubelah did manage to sum up my thinking. I'd say that the main thing I'd worry about in your shoes would be two statements you made:

1. “I have thought about putting together a packet.”
2. “I'm pretty sure she could learn to pay the bills”

Neither of those statements really sounds very confident. If you have a packet – or even if you have an accountant or trusted family member who has a good understanding of your finances – fine. But if you don't have a packet, your family's at risk. Don't assume charmed lives are guaranteed to continue to be charmed – that's why we all have insurance.

]]> By: Bret http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29120 Bret Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:50:20 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29120 Bubelah,<br><br>Thanks for your message. I was expecting some grief from Steve over my comment, since he was pretty animated about this subject. I'm glad you replied instead. I definitely got the point. But, our situation is very different than yours.<br><br>Next week, we will have been married for 19 years. And, I worry a lot about how my family would do if anything happened to me. Like Ulyana, I have thought about putting together a packet. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I would be leaving my family in very sound financial condition.<br><br>As a PF blogger, I have tried very hard to educate her and my kids (ages 16 & 20) over many years. And, she has picked up some of it. But, in general, she doesn't have any interest it the finances and is happy to let me handle it. My previous comment that it "isn't her thing" was pretty accurate.<br><br>For now, she leads a pretty charmed life. She doesn't have to work, she has an allowance and she definitely knows how to use the ATM. And, if anything happens to me, I'm pretty sure she could learn to pay the bills. Bubelah,

Thanks for your message. I was expecting some grief from Steve over my comment, since he was pretty animated about this subject. I'm glad you replied instead. I definitely got the point. But, our situation is very different than yours.

Next week, we will have been married for 19 years. And, I worry a lot about how my family would do if anything happened to me. Like Ulyana, I have thought about putting together a packet. If I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I would be leaving my family in very sound financial condition.

As a PF blogger, I have tried very hard to educate her and my kids (ages 16 & 20) over many years. And, she has picked up some of it. But, in general, she doesn't have any interest it the finances and is happy to let me handle it. My previous comment that it “isn't her thing” was pretty accurate.

For now, she leads a pretty charmed life. She doesn't have to work, she has an allowance and she definitely knows how to use the ATM. And, if anything happens to me, I'm pretty sure she could learn to pay the bills.

]]> By: bubelah http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29119 bubelah Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:51:49 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29119 I think you are missing the point here. I agree that there should be some separation of duties. Whoever does it better should do it or whoever has time. I do a better job cleaning, so I do it. Steve's duty is to take out the garbage. But I still know where the trash can is and when are the garbage pick-up days. So when Steve's on a business trip we are not drowning in trash. The point is that both parties should be aware of how much money comes in and how much money comes out. Two people in the family do not need to be involved in bill payin but both should be aware of the expenses and how to do it, in case one of you falls ill, or dies, or hits the road.<br>I am sure your wife knows how much you make and how to get cash from ATM, in case she needs it. I think you are missing the point here. I agree that there should be some separation of duties. Whoever does it better should do it or whoever has time. I do a better job cleaning, so I do it. Steve's duty is to take out the garbage. But I still know where the trash can is and when are the garbage pick-up days. So when Steve's on a business trip we are not drowning in trash. The point is that both parties should be aware of how much money comes in and how much money comes out. Two people in the family do not need to be involved in bill payin but both should be aware of the expenses and how to do it, in case one of you falls ill, or dies, or hits the road.
I am sure your wife knows how much you make and how to get cash from ATM, in case she needs it.

]]> By: mywellofwealth http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29118 mywellofwealth Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:04:57 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29118 Interesting. I have to add my own thoughts to this. How do married couples who do not know how much the other makes stay married, let alone be in harmony with each other? It's like along a cliff in a blindfold. <a href="http://www.http://www.mywellofwealth.com/" rel="nofollow">My Well Of wealth</a> Interesting. I have to add my own thoughts to this. How do married couples who do not know how much the other makes stay married, let alone be in harmony with each other? It's like along a cliff in a blindfold. My Well Of wealth

]]> By: Bret http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/comment-page-1/#comment-29116 Bret Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:32:26 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2009/lack-of-communication-or-stupidity/#comment-29116 I agree with Ulyana. <br><br>Sometimes in a marriage one person is the banker and in our marriage that's me. We are single income and I handle all of the finances. Fortunately, I make enough so we have a nice lifestyle, but it wasn't always that way. We used to have to scrape by and I am the saver and the frugal one. We tried a joint bank account, but that didn't work out too well.<br><br>BTW, this isn't a sexist thing. I also cook, clean and used to change diapers and watch the kids. In my family, my Mom was the banker and she was an incredible money manager. I would love for my wife to pay all of the bills while I am at work. But, it's not her thing.<br><br>The point I'm making is that every family is different, so please don't rush to judgement. We do what works the best for us. I agree with Ulyana.

Sometimes in a marriage one person is the banker and in our marriage that's me. We are single income and I handle all of the finances. Fortunately, I make enough so we have a nice lifestyle, but it wasn't always that way. We used to have to scrape by and I am the saver and the frugal one. We tried a joint bank account, but that didn't work out too well.

BTW, this isn't a sexist thing. I also cook, clean and used to change diapers and watch the kids. In my family, my Mom was the banker and she was an incredible money manager. I would love for my wife to pay all of the bills while I am at work. But, it's not her thing.

The point I'm making is that every family is different, so please don't rush to judgement. We do what works the best for us.

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