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I activated my time machine so I could sit down with Ur, a Cro-Magnon man, for an interview. We had a little trouble agreeing on basics of the interview. He preferred to conduct it after ritual drinking of antelope blood, which I politely declined on the basis of personal beliefs - namely, my belief that a person should not drink antelope blood. In the end I got a few good quotes. Here’s the result.

Ur, thanks for joining us. What would you say are the greatest financial challenges facing you and your family today?

Ur fear no challenge. Ur fought mighty Cave Bear. Ur does have concern about saving for old age, since Ur has already seen all fingers plus one foot of toes worth of summers - Ur is almost old man. Ur like to retire from hunting in time to enjoy his time as Elder of Clan at age of all fingers plus all toes summers. Ur worry that cost of living in cave very high. Ur paid ten wolverine skins for flint spearhead that cost seven wolverine skins just many-many moons ago!

How much do you save each year?

Ur set aside one kill from five for winter. Ur know one finger of hand is hard target to achieve, but Ur has fought the mighty Cave Bear. Ur knows no fear, except fear of getting cavity.

What are your long-term retirement goals?

Ur much like have a least some teeth when retired. Not have teeth, no eat meat. Antelope have much gristle.

If you could give just one piece of advice to 10,000 future generations, what would it be?

No invest in dinosaur futures. Ur lose his pelts investing in dinosaur futures. Better to diversify - flints, wolf pelts, grains and fire. Oh, and take care of teeth.

(strange picture that stole Ur’s soul by Lorri37)

~~~

Odds and ends:

I recently won a copy of The Prosperity Bible from JLP at All Financial Matters. If you’ve never heard of it, you’re not alone - but Bubelah and I were really impressed by the book when it arrived. The book has those thin, soft cotton-y pages you see in family heirloom books or Bibles. Two of the first few books included in the The Prosperity Bible (and yes, it contains 19 full-length books) are two of my absolute favorites: The Science of Getting Rich and Think and Grow Rich. I am really looking forward to reading it once I can snatch it out of Bubelah’s hands. I’ll try to post a more thorough review in the future (although I really hate doing book reviews).

Just in case it wasn’t blindingly obvious, my post yesterday was meant to be about 98% sarcastic. My parents are both educators, with degrees in philosophy and classical languages. Despite my staggeringly practical accounting MBA degree, my undergraduate degree was in mathematics, and I received enough credits for minors in linguistics, Russian and German (and had Russian been available as a major I probably would have double-majored in Russian and mathematics). I do think private schools need to pick up more of the burden of financial aid for their ballooning tuition rates (as Harvard and some other Ivies are doing, for example), and that the primary goal of federal financial aid should be subsidizing public university students’ tuition, but the last thing we need in this world is an America filled with accounting graduates and no poets. I also really liked PaidTwice’s comment:

poetry may not win the war in Iraq, but little else will either. maybe we should try poetry.

It would have to be pretty hardcore poetry. Maybe this one would work:

“…Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity…”

(read the rest of the poem here)

Eh, too depressing. Better use this instead:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty back together again.

~~~

I haven’t done a giveaway in a while, but I have a few ebooks and even a couple of books that I’m going to give away in honor of my upcoming birthday, which takes place on a holiday (Town Meeting Day in Vermont - everyone knows what day THAT takes place on - sheesh)! Stayed tuned, I plan to offer several over the next few weeks.

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