Comments on: the myth of the parent that NEEDS to work http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/ wealth, work and life success Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:12:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Shakela87 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-29489 Shakela87 Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:57:33 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-29489 Thank you! It's so nice to see a personal finance article on the advantages of being a stay at home mom. Now I'm definitely a feminist and think if a mom wants to work than she should however, your wife wants to stay home. That's a perfectly valid choice! Anybody who's bitter about it is being silly. Old colleagues probably just keep bringing up work because they want her to come back. It sounds like she was a good employee, but now she's doing something much more important :) Also major kudos to you for being willing to do the stay at home thing. Obviously in this case it didn't make financial sense, but not insisting that she be the one to do it makes me have a lot of respect for you. Thank you! It's so nice to see a personal finance article on the advantages of being a stay at home mom. Now I'm definitely a feminist and think if a mom wants to work than she should however, your wife wants to stay home. That's a perfectly valid choice! Anybody who's bitter about it is being silly. Old colleagues probably just keep bringing up work because they want her to come back. It sounds like she was a good employee, but now she's doing something much more important :) Also major kudos to you for being willing to do the stay at home thing. Obviously in this case it didn't make financial sense, but not insisting that she be the one to do it makes me have a lot of respect for you.

]]> By: Shakela87 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28979 Shakela87 Mon, 07 Sep 2009 20:57:33 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28979 Thank you! It's so nice to see a personal finance article on the advantages of being a stay at home mom. Now I'm definitely a feminist and think if a mom wants to work than she should however, your wife wants to stay home. That's a perfectly valid choice! Anybody who's bitter about it is being silly. Old colleagues probably just keep bringing up work because they want her to come back. It sounds like she was a good employee, but now she's doing something much more important :) Also major kudos to you for being willing to do the stay at home thing. Obviously in this case it didn't make financial sense, but not insisting that she be the one to do it makes me have a lot of respect for you. Thank you! It's so nice to see a personal finance article on the advantages of being a stay at home mom. Now I'm definitely a feminist and think if a mom wants to work than she should however, your wife wants to stay home. That's a perfectly valid choice! Anybody who's bitter about it is being silly. Old colleagues probably just keep bringing up work because they want her to come back. It sounds like she was a good employee, but now she's doing something much more important :) Also major kudos to you for being willing to do the stay at home thing. Obviously in this case it didn't make financial sense, but not insisting that she be the one to do it makes me have a lot of respect for you.

]]> By: jesirhodes http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28544 jesirhodes Fri, 17 Jul 2009 15:45:12 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28544 I really enjoyed this post, thanks so much! I really enjoyed this post, thanks so much!

]]> By: Kathy Kramer http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28403 Kathy Kramer Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:34:11 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28403 I know this is an old post, but I had to comment...<br><br>The women's movement was supposed to give us the ability to choose what we wanted to do with our lives, but it really has not. My generation is expected to work and have careers. The only choice I get is either I work or I don't have a place to live. How is that empowering? <br><br>My generation was raised with the mixed messages of "you can grow up to be whatever you want to be as long as you don't act like a girl and do traditional female things". How is that empowering? <br><br>I applaud you and your wife's decision to live on one income. I know that it requires sacrifice. Whatever doubts that your wife may have now will pale knowing that she was able to spend time with her child when they were young. No career and no six figure salary can compare to that reward. <br><br>If a family can make one income work, then they should go for it if that's what they want to do. I know this is an old post, but I had to comment…

The women's movement was supposed to give us the ability to choose what we wanted to do with our lives, but it really has not. My generation is expected to work and have careers. The only choice I get is either I work or I don't have a place to live. How is that empowering?

My generation was raised with the mixed messages of “you can grow up to be whatever you want to be as long as you don't act like a girl and do traditional female things”. How is that empowering?

I applaud you and your wife's decision to live on one income. I know that it requires sacrifice. Whatever doubts that your wife may have now will pale knowing that she was able to spend time with her child when they were young. No career and no six figure salary can compare to that reward.

If a family can make one income work, then they should go for it if that's what they want to do.

]]> By: Michelle H. http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28217 Michelle H. Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:58:16 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28217 Hang in there - it's all worth it! I felt the same as your wife many times, but I'm so glad I could stay home with our children.Those years pass so quickly and can never be replaced. It helps if you can find even one like-minded friend. <br>Blessings! Hang in there – it's all worth it! I felt the same as your wife many times, but I'm so glad I could stay home with our children.Those years pass so quickly and can never be replaced. It helps if you can find even one like-minded friend.
Blessings!

]]> By: Steve @ bripblap http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28214 Steve @ bripblap Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:05:50 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28214 Thanks for all the new comments! One quick point: I did say "First of all, I know there are single mothers and poorer families who have no choice!" I know that there are people who have medical hardships, lower paying jobs, etc. who need two incomes. And I know many people reading this post think I'm being judgmental, and I am. Not every family NEEDS two incomes to survive. Many do, and I'm not talking about them.<br><br>But thanks for the comments! And I do know that many stay-at-home-parents do feel "damned if they do, damned if they don't" go back to the workplace. As I said, my wife feels the same way. It's tough! Thanks for all the new comments! One quick point: I did say “First of all, I know there are single mothers and poorer families who have no choice!” I know that there are people who have medical hardships, lower paying jobs, etc. who need two incomes. And I know many people reading this post think I'm being judgmental, and I am. Not every family NEEDS two incomes to survive. Many do, and I'm not talking about them.

But thanks for the comments! And I do know that many stay-at-home-parents do feel “damned if they do, damned if they don't” go back to the workplace. As I said, my wife feels the same way. It's tough!

]]> By: Becky R http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28206 Becky R Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:06:29 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28206 Even school age kids need a stay at home parent.<br><br>I am a single mom, but it has been my goal to be with my two boys as much as possible, so I have always worked with them, as a nanny and then running an in home daycare. I work hard and long hours, but I am with my boys.<br><br>We live very frugally, but even if I worked full time and had them in school (we homeschool) and aftercare I would not make much more money than I do now. <br><br>I attribute all this to God, but I think since He also desires me to be with my boys He makes it work.<br><br>We do not have any debt or car payment. We do rent, but I have some money saved so we can buy a house one day. I also have an emergency fund of about 1-2 years worth of living expenses.<br><br>God is so good.<br><br>I have many friends who work and they complain, but they drive new cars and go to disney once a year plus other mini vacations. So yes it can be about priorities.<br><br><br><br>It works for us. Even school age kids need a stay at home parent.

I am a single mom, but it has been my goal to be with my two boys as much as possible, so I have always worked with them, as a nanny and then running an in home daycare. I work hard and long hours, but I am with my boys.

We live very frugally, but even if I worked full time and had them in school (we homeschool) and aftercare I would not make much more money than I do now.

I attribute all this to God, but I think since He also desires me to be with my boys He makes it work.

We do not have any debt or car payment. We do rent, but I have some money saved so we can buy a house one day. I also have an emergency fund of about 1-2 years worth of living expenses.

God is so good.

I have many friends who work and they complain, but they drive new cars and go to disney once a year plus other mini vacations. So yes it can be about priorities.

It works for us.

]]> By: Mandi http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28205 Mandi Thu, 09 Jul 2009 22:52:16 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28205 I only skimmed some of the comments, so maybe I missed it, but is there anyone else out there who actually comes out financially *ahead* by one parent staying home? I have a Master of Library Science, which does not pay off like a master's in another area--say, an MBA. I am planning to work very part time after our third child is born (sometime in the next month!), and we will come out a little bit ahead. Child care for three would sap literally half of my take-home pay, so we found it pointless for me to continue working full time. I don't see it as any more "wasteful" to stay home with an education than to work just to pay for childcare and student loans. I only skimmed some of the comments, so maybe I missed it, but is there anyone else out there who actually comes out financially *ahead* by one parent staying home? I have a Master of Library Science, which does not pay off like a master's in another area–say, an MBA. I am planning to work very part time after our third child is born (sometime in the next month!), and we will come out a little bit ahead. Child care for three would sap literally half of my take-home pay, so we found it pointless for me to continue working full time. I don't see it as any more “wasteful” to stay home with an education than to work just to pay for childcare and student loans.

]]> By: Alice http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28204 Alice Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:57:54 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28204 My husband and I both work, we drive a small, old car, we live in a tiny house, and we don't travel unless someone else offers to pay for the tickets. I have no freaking clue who these people are who are only working for luxuries, but they're not us.<br><br>BTW, I stayed home until my daughter was two and a half, then went back to work, and I got roundly criticized for both choices. Motherhood amounts to people telling you you're doing it wrong either way. My husband and I both work, we drive a small, old car, we live in a tiny house, and we don't travel unless someone else offers to pay for the tickets. I have no freaking clue who these people are who are only working for luxuries, but they're not us.

BTW, I stayed home until my daughter was two and a half, then went back to work, and I got roundly criticized for both choices. Motherhood amounts to people telling you you're doing it wrong either way.

]]> By: Laurie http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/comment-page-2/#comment-28203 Laurie Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:23:26 +0000 http://www.bripblap.com/2007/the-myth-of-the-parent-that-needs-to-work/#comment-28203 I am a sahm also and I have heard it all. I have been told that I am so lucky to be home with my kids- it is not luck it is hard work making that one income stretch and we don't have brand new cars or take really expensive vacations. We have older cars in good condition and take family vacations that we save for and can afford. I have also been asked when I am going to finally go back to school so my dh can stop working so hard to support me. My dh works his regular job, which he would still do even if I went back to work. If I did go back to work then we would both have to work harder to pay for daycare costs!! All of these comments have been made by people who have huge houses, very expensive suv's, boats, campers and take at least 3 vacations a year and spend a total of 2 hrs with their kids each day. They also say they have to work!! No they want to work and if that is their decision then go for it but, don't put down my decision to stay at home. I try to respect everyones choices, I may not agree with them but, I don't have to live with their choices. I am a sahm also and I have heard it all. I have been told that I am so lucky to be home with my kids- it is not luck it is hard work making that one income stretch and we don't have brand new cars or take really expensive vacations. We have older cars in good condition and take family vacations that we save for and can afford. I have also been asked when I am going to finally go back to school so my dh can stop working so hard to support me. My dh works his regular job, which he would still do even if I went back to work. If I did go back to work then we would both have to work harder to pay for daycare costs!! All of these comments have been made by people who have huge houses, very expensive suv's, boats, campers and take at least 3 vacations a year and spend a total of 2 hrs with their kids each day. They also say they have to work!! No they want to work and if that is their decision then go for it but, don't put down my decision to stay at home. I try to respect everyones choices, I may not agree with them but, I don't have to live with their choices.

]]>